Here are some jokes found on the internet.
Disclaimer: Some people will find them funny. Some will not. I don't advocate making fun of people in any way at their expense. Generic jokes based on semantics can be funny, while personal ones can often be demeaning.
Dating Ad Translations
Want to know what the person is REALLY like behind those "nice" descriptions in Singles Ads? Here are some translations... when you read between the lines
DANDY LITTLE HOUSE KEEPER: She has been married three times and kept all the houses
FINE CHARACTER: She's an ex-hooker
KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE MONEY: She's a spend thrift and great at spending yours
STRONG FAMILY TIES: She's a Mafia Princess
LOVES CHILDREN: She's pregnant and needs a husband
WONDERFUL PERSONALITY: She's fat
GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR: She's fat and will laugh at anything you say
THE OUTDOOR TYPE: She hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, just like the guys
READY TO SETTLE DOWN: She's thirty-five, in a state of panic, and dying to marry
LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME: She gets drunk every time she goes out
LOTS OF FUN AT PARTIES:Often makes an ass of herself
MATURE WOMAN: She's at least thirty, but looks at least forty-five
HAS THE APPEARANCE OF A YOUNG SCHOOL GIRL: She's at least thirty-three, but dresses like a teenager
CASUAL: She dresses like a slob
DECORATED HER OWN PLACE: Her apartment resembles a pig sty
A GREAT DANCER: She's a Stripper
NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL: She only cries twenty-seven times a day
DOESN'T CHASE MEN: She's more of a mousetrap or a black widow spider type
SELDOM DATES: She's a lesbian who needs a male escort for something
UNDERSTANDS MEN: She's been married and divorced four times
A GOOD SPORT: She knows two hundred jokes & can drink you under the table
LOOKS AND DRESSES LIKE A MODEL: She's five eleven and weighs seventy-three pounds
BEEN IN SHOW BUSINESS: She's a former porn movie star
KNOWS A LOT OF INTERESTING PEOPLE: None of whom would marry her
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
lessons from the cow
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
a visit to the clinic...
Two boys were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd boy: Why are you crying?
1st boy: I came here for blood test.
2nd boy: So? Are you afraid?
1st boy: No. Not that. When I told them I didn’t study for the blood test, the nurse laughed and then she cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished.
1st boy: Why are you crying now?
2nd boy: I have come for my urine test and I haven't studied too!
2nd boy: Why are you crying?
1st boy: I came here for blood test.
2nd boy: So? Are you afraid?
1st boy: No. Not that. When I told them I didn’t study for the blood test, the nurse laughed and then she cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished.
1st boy: Why are you crying now?
2nd boy: I have come for my urine test and I haven't studied too!
Differences Between You and Your Boss
(i got this from long ago. no offence to bosses out there...)
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
the original ah beng jokes
to my avid readers... here's a mail sent on 24 July 2000 (some mails are worth keeping ain't it?)
while they are entitled the "ah beng jokes"... it can be applied to anybody out there! so take it a with a sense of humour yeah?
colours of the rainbow
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!" Nevertheless, he still had to entertain Ah Beng.
So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said yellow? Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
Act 1
Ah beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIMEDIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
Act 2
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Ah beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."
Act 3
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.".
Act 4
Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition. Duringthe Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'.
"The crowd shouts,"Gin! Gin!". Others exclaim,"No, its Grape Juice!"Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host: "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you think I need their help? I got more oliginal answer :Gu ni!" (cow milk in hokkien)
Act 5
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decided to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng: "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been overhalf an hour & still nobody has come to help me....
Act 6
In an English class
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay & Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)"
The teacher fainted.
Act 7
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. what happened to the other ear?"
"That stoopid dumbo called back!"
Act 8
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
while they are entitled the "ah beng jokes"... it can be applied to anybody out there! so take it a with a sense of humour yeah?
colours of the rainbow
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!" Nevertheless, he still had to entertain Ah Beng.
So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said yellow? Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
Act 1
Ah beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIMEDIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
Act 2
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Ah beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."
Act 3
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.".
Act 4
Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition. Duringthe Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'.
"The crowd shouts,"Gin! Gin!". Others exclaim,"No, its Grape Juice!"Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host: "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you think I need their help? I got more oliginal answer :Gu ni!" (cow milk in hokkien)
Act 5
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decided to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng: "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been overhalf an hour & still nobody has come to help me....
Act 6
In an English class
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay & Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)"
The teacher fainted.
Act 7
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. what happened to the other ear?"
"That stoopid dumbo called back!"
Act 8
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Choosing a wife
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man was impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then… he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man was impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then… he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
of jokes, silly stuff and plain stupidity.
i jumped onto the email bandwagon way back in 1997 when i was secondary four... and being the sort who archives frequently (but not obssessively), i've amassed a bunch of emails which i found to be quite entertaining - funny, silly or just plain stupid. anyway, here's the first of many to come. take no offence, let me know if you feel i should remove them and it's done! wanted to upload some .gif files but they wouldn't animate... so i shall have to revert back to text. here's something quite recent.
5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized: "Sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak."Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
"I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.
"Puff! She's gone."
Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.
"Puff! He's gone."
OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: " Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying north for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. Have a great day!
5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized: "Sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak."Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
"I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.
"Puff! She's gone."
Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.
"Puff! He's gone."
OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: " Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying north for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. Have a great day!
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